at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
