Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
