I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
