Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
