you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
