just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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