were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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