If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
