If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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