I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
