i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
