I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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