At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
