I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize