I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
