I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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