Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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