dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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