Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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