While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
