I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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