Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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