I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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