before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
