I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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