Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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