just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
