just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
