how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
