I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
