Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Do vagina's smell?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize