I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
