I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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