Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
