words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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