no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
