He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
