OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
