he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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