One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
