Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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