THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
