we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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