I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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