if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
