she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
