worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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