I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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