This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I can't turn off my feet"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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