I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
