If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
