ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
