Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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