69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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