My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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