At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
