but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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