I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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