i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
