What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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