I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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