I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
