it wasn't lemon gatorade
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Damn victory sex feels great
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
