hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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