Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
