I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
