hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
