Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize