hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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