HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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