yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
