I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
