rhymes with "ouble enetration"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
