My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
