1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
