My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
