Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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