whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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