Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
