She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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