guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
